CringeBios – It's Not Me, It's You (Las Vegas)

Cringeworthy Bios

We’ve all seen them: the bios that make you wince, gag, or consider throwing your phone into traffic. Whether it’s “sapiosexual gym rat who hates drama” or yet another man clutching a fish and a flag like he’s auditioning for The Bachelor: Bass Pro Edition — send it in.

We’ll roast it with the tenderness of a Sunday brunch fight between exes. Bonus points if you matched with them and lived to tell the tale.

What should appear on your dating tombstone? *

Where should we send your public humiliation? *

If our cats stop judging long enough for us to send updates, do you want them? *

Consent.... Because Consent Is Sexy.

I consent to having my submission used during the show, on social media, and/or in future “It’s Not Me, It’s You” content, recordings, and merchandise.

By submitting this form, I confirm that I am doing so of my own free will (and not under duress, thirst, or a post-breakup spiral). I grant full permission for my submission—edited, paraphrased, dramatized, or re-enacted—to be used publicly, worldwide, in perpetuity, and I understand this consent is irrevocable (aka I can’t change my mind later).

I affirm that I own the rights to everything I’m submitting, that it does not infringe on any third-party rights, and that I will not hold “It’s Not Me, It’s You” or its affiliates liable for any claims related to its use. Basically: don’t send us something you stole unless you’re cool with the original owner seeing it on a T-shirt.

I waive any right to compensation, royalties, or legal action (no matter how wildly successful this becomes). I also agree not to sue, because we are poor, and any profits will likely be used for alcohol (for research and reward purposes), therapy we won’t attend but fully support, and emotional support snacks. *

Yes, I give full permission for my poor life choices to be turned into comedy content, memes, and possibly merch.

We Won't Expose You Unless You Beg Us For Fame. What Do You Say?

Where’d You Find This Monster? *

Describe the Crime Scene. *

Do You Want Us To… *

Upload the Evidence: Screenshots, selfies, or any photographic proof of crimes against dating. *