gets drunk and tells on itself. goes to get roasted.meets its match.
What We do
Dating Profile Makeovers
We’ll rewrite your dating profile like it’s auditioning for a role in a rom-com—with fewer red flags and better lighting. Includes bio rewrites, photo curation, and a reality check that stings just enough to make you funnier.
Live Event Roasts
Think stand-up comedy meets your love life. Submit your worst bios, unhinged screenshots, and messy dating tales for a public airing-out in front of a supportive (read: judgmental) crowd. Laughter is healing. So is humiliation.
Swipe Night Games
Interactive comedy events where your romantic disasters become games, points, and prizes. Expect themed nights (like “Bumble, Boys & Bingo”), audience participation, and competitive chaos.
Dating Coaching (But Funny)
Yes, technically this is “coaching.” But it’s more like brutally honest advice from the friend who loves you and makes fun of you. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, you’ll update your Hinge prompts.
Photo Feedback
Send us your dating app pics. We’ll tell you if you look like a red flag, a golden retriever, or someone who definitely still texts their ex. It’s ruthless, it’s useful, it’s done with love. (We’re So Sorry in Advance)
Private Roast Nights
Hosting a party? Book us to roast your guests’ dating profiles live. Perfect for birthdays, bachelorettes, queer chaos nights, or any event where someone needs to be taken down a peg for their fish pic.
Audience Submissions
Your disaster texts. Your weirdest dates. That time you got ghosted and Venmo-requested. We’ll read it, roast it, and maybe turn it into a meme. Submit anonymously… unless you're brave.
Judgment with a Smile
We’re not therapists. But we are emotionally damaged and weirdly good at helping you laugh through it. Let us lovingly judge your dating choices—on stage or behind the scenes.
Themed Swipe Nights
Each show gets its own chaotic flavor—think “Gays, Gags & Grindr,” “Straight Girls and the Men Who Fail Them,” or “Bumble Bingo: Emotional Damage Edition.” Costumes encouraged. Shame optional. Fun guaranteed.
